How to keep warm in church

 

1. Rush to the front of the sanctuary. That will warm you up, and you’ll avoid the draft in the back of the church.

 

2. Invite your neighbors and friends, and sit 12 people to a pew.

 

3. Seat yourself near the pulpit. Much hot air is emitted from that area.

 

4. Wear thermal underwear (in the appropriate liturgical colors, of course).

 

5. Wait for an unfamiliar hymn — and then watch the sparks fly!